二十一岁的最后一天。My last day as a 21 year old

坦白说，我很害怕长大，害怕变老。我并不像一些人，来到了二十岁，背上的翅膀硬了，一些甚至开始飞了。我还站在悬崖边，缺乏勇气往前涌。

但无论如何，人终会老。时间不停的溜走。地球不停地公转自转。没办法。

如今的我，位于Subang Jaya SS 13 的Macfood Services(M) Sdn Bhd 实习着。也算是踏入社会的第一步。

每次吃午餐的时候，都会看到上班族穿着整齐的西装，到饭店用餐。我羡慕的，不是他们的豪华车，也不是他们整齐的衣裤。

我羡慕的是，他们如何能够，重复一天又一天的工作生活。一直到五十六十岁左右，才来退休，享受生活。

或许身为白羊座的我，会再次显示出我不耐性的一面。但在想象以后的我，若我真的有了一个家庭，就算工作多烦恼，多压力，能够在放工后回到家，看到自己心爱的家庭，有着一餐温馨的晚餐等着我。这，已足够的给与我勇气，来面对每一天的挑战。

能够和另一半过着柴米油盐酱醋茶的生活，已经是上天赐予足够幸福了。我不想要多。

因为，遥远人生的道路，会越走越孤单。无论如何，总该有个伴。

也不知道，为什么会这样想。或许，我真的喜欢上妳了吧。无可救药了吧？

或许，这个是自己要面对现实的未来而想像的情景。可能是不要再让自己沉迷在小孩子的美梦里。

或许，是时候，飞了吧？

或许，让我能够有勇气地飞的原因，就是，妳？





With you right here, I'm a rocketeer~!!!

Earth Hour 2011

It's another Earth Hour day. Unlike the last one last year, which I blog about it here, I actually went through it. But I still stand still to the point.

This year however, I'm gonna go a bit more detailed. Like narrowing the crossfire to something more detailed.

Saving one hour of electricity, is nothing, especially when you are using air conditioner and water heater all the time.

Now when questioned on the world's greatest invention of all time, especially those rich aunties or uncles, no doubt they will answer: AIR CONDITIONER. In fact, the reason they give is it cools the house or room.

Yes it does cool. But how? Did you ever wonder? If you're a kid, you'd probably think that it creates and releases cool air to the room, and you'll be like standing under it to feel the cool breeze (that was what I did when I was small).

Law of Conservation of Energy- Energy can neither be generated nor destroyed. It can only change from one phase or type to another. It can also be transferred if there is a delta or difference between two medium that comes in contact.

In lay man terms, your god damn air cond does not "make" your room cold. It simply transfers the heat in your room to another place, a.k.a. the environment, until there is so little heat left in your room that you feel cold! If an air cond can really "make" a place cold, I suggest that the government or WWF to build a humongous air conditioner, to make global warming an issue of the past, a history to be forgotten.

That's why for me, switching on an air conditioner is the worst sin I could ever have committed. I am proud to say that, I have NEVER SWITCHED ON the air conditioner MYSELF for a long long time(more than 1 year). I rather switched on my fan at a higher speed. At least I know, I am suffering together with Mother Earth. I won't let her take the heat ALL BY HERSELF!

You see, the fact is that, most people still aren't educated, in the sense of really caring for the world. In this world, you can never deny that money ALWAYS come first. It is always getting the newest Iphones, Ipads, and other gizmo techs and stuffs. Note that there is only "I". Screw the world. Screw Mother Nature.

Human have been too dependent to science and technology, that we somehow have forgotten that our ancestors, once lived in jungles, hunted like animals to survive.

Now, once you're born to this world, anywhere apart the rural and poor areas, you're destined to survive. You don't need to run away from lions or dinosaurs like cavemen of the stone age. You don't need to hunt for meat or pluck fruits from the trees. You have markets, supermarkets and McDonald's for Christ sake! You don't even need to cook your own food! You don't need to walk or migrate when the soil is not fertile for crop growing anymore. And heck again, you don't even grow crops or plant a turf of grass!

And when you think the world's giving you too much, you commit suicide. Heck! Have you ever seen a wild animal commit suicide? I don't think so. How can we humans, become so weak?

And once again, you think that switching your lights off for one hour is so damn noble, think again. It makes things worse when you play with candles. OMG... Can you for once, sit down and enjoy the night, with only the moon and stars as your light?

*sorry for being offending in this post. I know some of you did played with candles or other things. What is done is done. You can act noble again for one more hour by doing nothing, or you can actually try to change thoroughly, starting by banning... Air Conditioners!!!!

LMAO~!!

I Dreamed a Dream

If this question were to pop out:"What is your dream?" or:"Where do you see yourself in the next 3 or 4 years?" I'll have to honestly say I don't have an effing clue. Yeah, it's true.

But if it is about my final year at USM, I roughly got everything figured out. My Plan A, Plan B, C and so on. (To tell the truth, the plans stop at C LOL!). It was very difficult, pondering over a future that I am so unsure and uncertain, like the black skies at night, full with velvet clouds, where you can't even catch a glimpse of the stars, nor see the face of the moon. It's like a muddy puddle of water.

Not that I do not have something I wish in my mind currently. Things are quite complicated if I were to go into it straight away. I need a prologue.

I am a stubborn person. Actually, strong willed would be a better word. Stubborn makes me defiant when I'm wrong, which is most of the time untrue. Strong willed. Yeah, that's the word.

When I want something, most of the time, I try my best to get it. But there are times too, where I set lofty targets which are so damn impossible and beyond my limits, that when I don't achieve them, I'll give myself an effing consolation or reason to pamper myself.

But yeah then again, most of the time, I'm strong willed. Quite. If you don't know me, then let it be known, that to become a doctor was something like a trademark for me. I felt like I was born to live a life of a doctor. I wasn't scared of blood and injections when I'm supposed to be at my age. My dad is a respectable doctor, an mentor. That dream was set when I was just a small boy. Even my primary school teachers know that. That a boy will someday make his dad proud, by joining ranks with him. A king in the making for a king.

Not that I went around boasting to everyone, nor was it the destiny my parents were trying to write into my future. Everyone just acknowledged that a doctor's son was surely to become a doctor. Not that I mind. But subconsciously, it seems like everyone at your hometown that you know, is waiting just to listen to the news, that the son of a doctor finally DID took up his father's footsteps.

Unfortunately, things don't always go as they are planned. I failed my dream. The dream that was there in my head since I was a small kid. The dream that when ever everybody asked me what was it, I would so proudly say it out, if not yell it out. The time comes when I know I can never yell out such an answer. I flunked my precious Matriculation Program, the Golden Ticket to realizing my dream.

My mind was in tatters. How can you accept that the dream you dream, is nothing but a dream? Confusion and blindness took me. I still questioned the choice of the degree I applied on till this very day. A Plan B I haven't even thought about. I got the chance to live back the life I SHOULD HAVE halfway during the 1st year 1st semester. I was on verge of quitting my current degree to pursue my dream in a private college. But somehow, I made a funny decision to stick to this course, and never looked back. Manly tears burst from my eyes. I was this close of quitting my current course.

Yes I still question the degree I'm still taking and haven't even graduated. But I have since put down that dream of mine, that dream of a small kid. I knew that dream was real enough to be reality (I dream of it every single day!), while most students studying medicine right now, applied mostly for the honours and prospect it offers, and of course of the fulfillment of the grades they've acquired.

Not to say that I'm a sour grape who looks down on at medicine students, but hey, this is the truth. If you have RM1 million to spend for one day, and at the end of the day, you're required to give back the balance you haven't spend, surely everyone would've spent every single cent of it. Why let such a good result go to waste, when you can be the hottest prospect?

Yes, current medicine students would mostly be better doctors than me, even had I have venture into medicine. But when it comes to the passion, the dream I had and the truth it holds, they would still lose out to me. At least I know when I want to save or help someone, my conscience is crystal clear. That was my dream. It isn't now. But it hasn't change my personality of willing to put myself into the deepest shit, to help those that I deem really require them.

Letting up a dream doesn't guarantee you to find a replacement. I'm too old to dream anymore. I prefer setting targets and achieving them. What for dream, when you don't give a damn of it becoming a reality?

Maybe I have mellow down, maybe I became more of a realist rather than an optimist. Failure does impart your confidence. But they also give you valuable lessons that none can teach.

My dream? I wish I had it now in my head. It's not a solid one. Rather it's like how I should live my life, what I should do...

If I really were to become someone's else girlfriend, my life would all be about her. She would be the number one priority. Forget about further studying. There is a future family that I have to feed. Even if it were to be working in Hell, I would gladly take up the job and work my ass off.

If I were to be cursed to solitary my entire life, then there is plenty time for me to think yet. Current situation seems to be heading this way rather than the one I mentioned, making this my Plan A. But if I were to choose, I'd wish Plan B up there were to happen.

You can plan all you like, you can try all you like, but things don't always turn up the way you like. So in conclusion, it's better to have contrasting dreams so that you won't end up like me in the first place. LMAO!

到头来，我并没有再为自己找了另一个梦想，只是对残酷的现实期望着和拼命地奋斗着，一个我想要的未来...

Burlesque

Now another film that is a must watch~! Although the concept is singing and dancing, and the rise of a "farm girl" to a well-known performer, the story is much more original and entertaining.

Christina Aguilera stars as Ali, who left a bar she worked in her hometown to pursue her dreams. She arrived at LA and finds work at a club named Burlesque. However, things did not really go smoothly for her as Tess, the owner, currently did not need any recruits and was also unaware of Ali's talent. Ali's hotel was then robbed and she had to stayed in at one of the bartender's house, named Jack.

So chance finally came knocking on the door when one of the dancers have to go on maternity leave. Ali became the substitute. And it was before long that lead singer Nikki kept pissing off Tess that she sent her home and allowing Ali to take Nikki's place. Nikki tried to sabotage Ali's 1st show by shutting off the sound system, since Burlesque focus mainly on dancing and lip syncing songs. But that of course, gave Ali, who sings like a nightingale, a chance to blossom into the club's hottest property.

Ali then caught the eye of entrepreneur Marcus. Marcus was trying to buy Burlesque from Tess so that he can finish his mega construction. Luckily Ali found that out, and saved Tess from selling Burlesque to Marcus because of plunging into debts by asking another entrepreneur to buy Burlesque's air rights to foil Marcus' plan.

And of course, Ali and Jack fell in love along the story, which added romance into the film. Original soundtracks with a fantastic theme, IT IS A MUST WATCH

Guys watch out for Christina. She's smokin hot!

Girls, watch out for Jack. He's the MAN!

Review: Absolutely undoubtedly 5 stars. The movie totally nailed it!

The Passion of the Christ movie review

Now this is one movie that had so many positive reviews (as in a good movie) but I quite haven't had the chance to actually watch it. But thank God I did have that chance. And it is certified to be a 5 star movie, most probably one of the best film you mustn't miss in your lifetime.

Now since I'm not very good in Christianity nor well verse in the bible, this review of synopsis is based purely on Wikipedia.

It seems that the whole story is based on the last 12 hours of Jesus' life beginning with the Agony in the Garden, where sometime after The Last Supper, Jesus took a walk in the garden and prayed to God while his followers were asleep. Never did he knew, that one of his followers, Judas, has secretly betrayed him to the temple guards and led to his arrest not long after.

As the guards move in to arrest Jesus, Peter cuts off the ear of Malchus, but Jesus heals the ear. The temple guards arrested Jesus, while his followers flee. Jesus was brought and questioned by Caiaphas, the Jewish high priest. After admitting himself as the son of God, Jesus was brought to Pontius Pilate, the prefect of the Roman province of Judea, to be demanded to be crucified by the people.

Pontius felt that it was harsh to crucify Jesus, instead he chose to chastise Jesus and to set him free. But after scourging Jesus, the crowds still wanted Jesus to be crucified. Pontius had no choice but to give in.

A lot happened along the way to the crucification, but at last when Jesus died while crucified, a drop of rain fell from the heavens, causing an earthquake and wrecking the Jewish temple and rips the cloth covering the Holy of Holies in two, to the horror of Caiaphas and the other priests. Satan is then shown screaming in defeat. The story ends with Jesus rising from the dead and exiting his tomb.

Although the film is not in English and is in reconstructed Aramic, Latin and Hebrew, with the help of subtitles, one can surely understands how the plot is going. You don't need to be a Christian to enjoy the film...

And my, the scene where Jesus was chastised... Ouch~!!!!!

Jesus being chastised

Crucified....

Be sure to watch it...

Lara 梁心頤 小樹

Seriously I think I am falling for Lara's song... She has such a SWEET voice... Amazing..

一起种的小树 全心全意照顾
为何他的绿叶 留不住
我们像那棵树 无绿尽就干枯
难道努力不一定幸福

还爱你 却无能为力
没养分 爱化为泪滴
心碎像落叶满地
痛都还来不及

还爱你 但无能为力
只能静静看你离去
原来爱死了可以没有原因

沉默凋零从前 杂草布满心田
腐化我们说好的永远
期待整个无奈 你却仍不明白
爱不是用眼泪来灌溉

还爱你 却无能为力
没养分 爱化为泪滴
心碎像落叶满地
痛都还来不及

还爱你 但无能为力
只能静静看你离去
原来爱死了可以没有原因

还爱你 却无能为力
没养分 爱化为泪滴
心碎像落叶满地
痛都还来不及

还爱你 但无能为力
只能静静看你离去
原来爱死了可以没有原因

The Reason- Hoobastanks

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

I tried forgetting you. And suddenly, all the hard work and self-discipline I have adhered too vanished into thin air. I became restless, tired, always wanting to escape from the real world. I indulge into hypersomnia. I slept like there was no tomorrow. Yet every time I wake up, I knew I had to face this bitter world that the fact you don't give me a single response. I thought that maybe if I let things be for a while, I could actually succeed. Last night I dreamed of you and the old wounds started to break. I'd know telling you this won't mean a thing.

But just remember, for the time being, you are always The Reason.