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Sunday, January 10, 2016

What A Start...


I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess

I need a break. I need a change. I am sick of not getting where I want but still remaining here...


Sunday, December 27, 2015

Reviewing My 2015

27th December 2015...

How time flies...

To be honest, I started off 2015 without any major resolutions in place even though a partially successful one in 2014 (I managed to have a well drafted one, up till the to-do's for my daily life. My resolutions slowly crept in along the year, which wasn't that bad at all!

Reading wise I set a realistic target for myself of 30 books. I'm at 27, not really hitting the target but as an overall, I would give myself a pat on the back for keeping that close to the target.

Health and fitness wise, that far off and almost died off dream to enroll myself in a full marathon (42km) is as elusive as ever. There was no urge to join up a marathon to cross that off my to-be-achieve list. But what I revered was the discipline I put myself through by joining up gym, in conjunction of my preparation for my Mt Kinabalu hike in the month of May. Although that discipline has been waning off in the recent months where work is taking off my time more and more, there is still that ounce of strength to push myself to gym during the weekends when I could be almost flat out.

I spent less and less time on entertainment (watching movies, playing games and browsing facebook aimlessly). That partially contributed to more reading time, I all but stopped watching dramas. I cut down on browsing through facebook. A 1G data quota ensure I minimize facebook on my phone significantly. I would want to keep up and improve on this if possible.

I am still on the starting line in learning more on investments. The thought of learning to invest, whether be it on shares or doing something to earn abit more money has been always cropping up in my mind time to time. But due to the not-so-urgent nature and time constraint, I haven't really been able dabble or venture more into it. I hope to put in more effort and time in this, as I know it will play an important part in the future.

Also what could I had changed in 2015 was to successfully take up a job offer in Singapore. Due to personal reasons and beliefs, I had took up the decision to looking into the possibility of working in Singapore. I missed the one and only chance I got back in September and I hope plenty of opportunity arises in the coming New Year. Needless to say I am desperate in a change for the better in my life.

The notion of having time calculated as years brings great benefits and sometimes despair. I am sure each of us would look back and ponder what 2015 has been to each of us. It will be sweet when we reminiscent the sweet times; sour and bitter when we revisit the sad and tragic moments... Like it or not, each year is different in its own ways, 2015 would soon be the past as 2016 slowly creeps upon us.

Let the lessons in 2015 make us better, and the triumphs and joy drive us to better heights. I know this sounds abit early but definitely better than late, here's to a Great 2016.

May The Force Be With You...



Saturday, November 28, 2015

Sick

One week of sickness is the worst I have gone through so far.

Usually it clears off completely within 3 days. After that I am fit and fighting once again.

This time round, it subsided last week, but came right back on Monday.

Ever since then it was dizziness, headache, flu, coughing and sore throat.

And today after what seems to be a good morning and road to recovery, the blocked nose comes back on. Not as bad as yesterday but still a nuisance.

It certainly impacts a lot on the mood. No one's cherry while down with a blocked nose.

Blue and moody...

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Quarter Life Crisis

I think this is the worst of em'all

But I think its normal to have quarter life crisis.

As I believe so that most of us has it.

Especially for those born in the 1980s. Most of us now have already started working for a few years already.

So what's next?

People who had gotten new offers or promotions, changed working environment perhaps will feel the effects less. At least a new challenge beckons. A life event. Becoming a manager. Climbing up the corporate ladder.

Things however, aren't just the same for someone who has spent going-to-be 3 years in the same position. And especially for a guy. The need of wanting to be bigger, bolder, better is in our blood, perhaps encoded in our DNA.

With a switch already anticipated in mind, the yet-to-come offer or chance is kinda taking a toll on me. Not in a bad way that it impacts my way of life.

It's more of like reading a chapter of a book, desperately waiting for the next brand new chapter.

side note: I think the mind cannot be allowed to slack or programmed to be routine. At least mind's is working that way. Sometimes people change not because of dislike. I think most of the time people change for a fresh perspective and challenge.


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Déjà vu

I have been here before.

That restlessness in me. Tired of the current life I am in. Not to be ungrateful, but I know I am someone who can't stand mediocrity, routine and mundane.

Life has been mehhh lately really. Nothing concrete to look forward to. Plenty of plans and effort to make a concrete future change, but still no sign of it yet.

This was the same sucky feeling I had back when I was working part time in La Promise. Staring at the skies so black yet clear. Wishing that I was up there among the stars.

And many things happened after that. One helluva interview knockout stages to a brief 3 month job until now, passing the 2 year mark at my current company.

I have friends who had undergone changes. Some remained as they had found their passion. Others maybe changing faster than the usual.

I am plotting mine... Although it is a leap of faith compared to those that I have. I have given my all and I am waiting for the same darn chance that I floundered months ago.

I know I am ready for the change. I just need that opportunity.

Please... Grant me my wish...

They say the sky is always the darkest before the light comes. Well it better hell be true...

Friday, October 2, 2015

Happiness And Fulfillment

I am blessed in my current situation.

Comparatively I am well off. Thanks to some financial support of my parents, I am living a life where not many in their mid-twenties can afford.

I acknowledge that. I am thankful of that. I know I am blessed for that.

But the fact is still undeniable. I am not entirely happy. Sure every now and then I happen to be in the middle of joyous celebrations and occasions, being relatively near to friends, relatives and family.

My physiological demands and needs are almost all fulfilled. But up the pyramid I go, here I am worried about my future and safety. The assurance that my future is alright.

And then another level up. The sense of belonging. Having someone to cherish and being loved.

I admit these are the 2 needs that I lust for at the moment. As life is always a climb to the top, I find myself yearning for new needs to be happy and fulfilled.

p.s. who would have thought what I learnt back then in one of the small topics of Minor Management can stay in my head up till now. FYI its called the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Of Short Fused, Impatience and Enlightenment

We all changed through the tidings of time.

I used to be a patient guy. Or should I say "long fused", difficult to get mad. I was calm. Docile.

I think this change of me happened along the period when I started living in the city. Bustling, busy, always on the go. Patience gets tested, and this particular ability gets lost and eroded.

I find myself more prone to irritations. Though still able to contain my feelings to prevent outbursts and arguments, I noticed that I get into situations where I'm in the midst of a hot debate, which totally irks and repels me.

Impatience is the aftermath trait we all gain if we lose the ability of patience. In many ways it is actually beneficial. I try to look at impatience as a gift these days. Not wanting to hear crap or bullshit, breezing past people who are walking idly as if they own the whole damn road, escalator and etc., you name it. 

I seriously think that sometimes the lax nature that Malaysians have could be one of the factors we are lagging behind. People keep saying oh give us more time, we'll be the South East Asian strong house by 2020. Well 5 years to go, and we are losing even to Indonesia.

Japan has saw 2 of its major cities reduced to ashes during the second world war. They have now surge to be one of the strongest countries in Asia. South Korea boosts one of the most front line technologies in the world. Singapore, with no land for crops and agriculture, seeking independence from Malaysia, has sprinted towards a better tomorrow. 

And here we are in Malaysia, thinking that we need more time. We are too lax. By observing just one simple trait, just by the speed we walk, can give a glimpse of how we are actually doing in terms of embracing the future. I am appalled. 

p.s. Seriously MYsians should be educated to stay on one side of the elevator or pavements to make way for rushing people.

I'm grateful of my current job. It's a technical job. What I do, learn or apply can bore the crap out of people who studied marketing and finance. But I am thankful that by being solid technically, one learns the essence and basics of life - Logic and Laws of Science. Even the most mundane sales pitch or marketing idea cannot mask or change logic and facts. Hard to believe sales pitch or marketing idea undoubtedly may induce periodical doubts and paradigm shifts, but if it won't work, it ain't gonna work. The enlightenment that I gain was being brilliant at logic and facts, and being practical, which help changed my mindset quite a bit. There is a change of how I see things now compared to 2 years ago.

I am slowly becoming a city guy. Or should I say I am already one. I cannot imagine myself going back to a life in idyllic Taiping. I have changed...

And I know I changed for the better. 

Enlightenment.