Wednesday, July 30, 2014

30th July 2014

Sometimes system and procedures really get into my way and mood.

I have been pro and anti system time to time. No doubt system brings order and prevents errors. But it is when a system becomes too rigid that it starts to irk me.

To make things worse, it is reusing this system over and over again that further deepens my anxiety. Dealing with different problems but using the same solution system. Over and over again. Like a loop.

Then again if it is simple, I don't have qualms. But problem is, this system is way too complicated and rigid. Going just one full round of it already got me breathless.

I do not think I can survive another round before I come to surrender...

Friday, July 25, 2014


Sometimes we tend to be calculative.

I'm surprised that this post is initiated because of my calculativeness. Because normally, I'm not.

I start becoming calculative when people are calculative with me.

I know how its done by repaying a good deed with a good action. I do that all the time.

I don't always eat at home. Yet I still pay full without fail. If I were calculative, I make sure I don't pay a single cent more or less.

And when you come asking for small money when in the fact I have already done my part in showing my generosity in another way, it really pisses me off.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Final Fantasy

Sometimes, how I wish I can take on challenges and fights like piano pieces.

Having the guts and perseverance to practice till I get the hold of it.

Recently I got zapped back to time by Final Fantasy. The games itself are a class on its own. But what got me really really hooked are the OSTs.

Don't know whether it sounds cheesy or not, but FF really brings a lot positive energy, and emotion to me. And I believe it does to a hell lot of people out there.

Whether it is coincidentally or not, I am resuming back that good routine for almost a week already!

You know what's better than Final Fantasy? It's hoping when you look back at your life at the end, it will be something as worthy as a Final Fantasy story.

Sunday, July 6, 2014


Sometimes we come up with all kinds reasons and excuses to make ourselves feel better...

I haven't really been able to adhere back to the schedule I set myself during the beginning of the year.

I've been trying to but it seems that I'm miles apart from that disciplined schedule which made my life felt more meaningful.

Busy hectic yet happy.

Then we slack. We cut off one activity one by one. Until at the end, we end up lifeless.

Where did the enthusiasm to learn more, read more, exercise more went to?

Hmm.. It's already July. I've made progress but with the current pace I'm moving I don't think it is possible to hit the goals I've set upon myself.

I need to stop making excuse when I'm about to start not following that schedule.

Dang. Buck up!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

A Soulmate

I really envy people who dates each other for a long time.

The longer the better. And then they end up married to each other. Happy ending.

In someways I am old fashioned. I think it's better for a guy and a girl to date each other for a long period (a minimum of 5 years) before ending up getting married.

Cause these days, I think people say "I do" a bit too abruptly. Or maybe triggered by an event which accelerates everything.

Maybe it is not 100% guaranteed, but the longer you know someone, the better you understand someone.  People may change during the years but I think there is some truth in that previous sentence. And to be able to be in a relationship for more than 5 years, not only you know him or her well, you are well prepared to tolerate the good and bad side of them.

In another way also, 5 years of being in a boy girl relationship and still loving each other, feeling that the other half completes you is a short test of endurance for the many years to come.

But then again, factoring the golden and preferable age for a woman to get pregnant (early 30s), I should be in a relationship by now. Then get married after 5 years +.

Oh God. Why am I still single...

Thursday, June 26, 2014

The Path To Greatness

"The path to greatness has always been unconventional

Dare to be different"

-Ong Joo Parn 25th June 2014

I am a man of my words. A believer of sayings. A conjurer of quotes.
Many great men gave famous speeches and quotes. Who knows what the future holds for me?

More often or not, quotes and sayings don't just come up like a lightning out of the blue. Even a lightning needs a storm cloud as a prelude.

There I was. Seeing the me 1 year ago. Eagerly fighting to be one of the selected 12. Honestly, I never did thought of making to the final round. 

Back then, joining the company was my self perceived cognitive dissonance to a path of greatness. To which now I clearly disagree to what I believed back then.

I am not being pessimistic though. I have seen more. Heard more. Learned more. If greatness was a path so easily attained and straight forward, there would be more than one Apple, more than one Google. More than one Thomas Edison so and so forth.

The path to greatness is always the road less or not taken.That's why there will always be one Steve Jobs. One Elon Musk. One Richard Branson.

One ME.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

There And Back Again

It always feels good to get a brief escape back to the town I grown up.

I feel safe over there. I feel familiar and accustomed to everything there.

Never needed air conditioner over there as even in dire situations, it can be tolerated or I could easily go out somewhere without being afraid of stuck in a jam.

I've mentioned countless amount of time. The feeling of wanting to turn back the clock and live the life of a boy, yet to experience the hardship and pain everyone one of us have to overcome in the working world.

Back then, everything was purely academic. Even the stress which we all thought was agonizing, is just a speck of what we face now in our daily life. Back then, I would say that even there wasn't any homework-life balance, life was indeed better than now. Cause back then, we only need to worry about our studies.

Eventually we came to a crossroad where we had to determine what and where to go. Usually for the group of people I know, there's only 3 major choices. Either its going to Penang or to KL, or it's staying put at Taiping.

I've briefly gone through all 3 of them. I had a brief spell of becoming a waiter in Taiping itself. Life as a waiter wasn't as easy as I imagined. I learn a lot but I felt that someone with my capabilities shouldn't be doing something well below my abilities.

Then I went to Penang. Life was good in the sense of my work was work life balance. Start work and end work on time. Life was supposed to be great as it involves me traveling around. But gosh it is tiring to drive daily up and down and left and right.

At last here I am at KL. A chance came knocking on the door to bring me to the capital where I know chances and opportunities are of abundance. A place where the best of the best come and face each other off, taking the sides of giant corporations, MNCs or small yet fast moving companies. And yes that also includes me in my current situation.

However, life will still lead me to a crossroad when the time comes. When I have a family, it would really make me ponder whether to stay on in this bustling city or move back to the countryside...

There and back again after 2 days. Will there ever be a there and back again after 5-10 years? Well best we just focus on tomorrow and let everything unfold