Saturday, April 26, 2014

Holding On and Letting Go

Yet I find myself in a difficult scenario.

There are 2 deliverable that will determine me of holding on or letting go of something...

I've got one already. Waiting for the other deliverable to materialize. Should I get both, chances of me not letting go something that I have will be minimized.

But with only one, I'd say chances of me letting go is much higher.

That's why when making some very difficult decisions in life, I think it's best to factor out feelings and attachments.

Easy to be said... But in reality we're all still humans...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Letter To Moyes

Dear Moyes,

First of all, sorry for your dismissal. Secondly, sorry as I haven't been a believer in you. Don't get me wrong. I think trust is earned. And we both know that based on United's performance, I don't think the board of directors have any left.

Yet I believe in giving chances. I believe that no matter how cruel or terrible the world we live in may be, chances should be given to proof who we are, what we can do.

Unfortunately, the world's changing faster than ever. Patience wears thin at the sign of a strings of under performing displays. Managing and fitting into Man Utd was never easy. Ask Fergie. He was fortunate to have managed United back then.You were given the same scenario. Except the people have changed.

Your tactics and strategy have always raised eyebrows. So does your transfer targets. United fans know that Kagawa is fit enough to challenge for positions on the wings or as a playmaker. But you went on to buy Mata, which could also do the same.

Fellaini never looked like what he was back at Everton. Nor does he fits well in a defensive role. Simple words - he was even worst than Veron.

Yet then again, I think people learn from their mistakes. You had your fair share of mistakes. Plenty of boos. An overwhelming of support from the anti-United fans.

As much that I loath to see you in charge of United, here I am, with a bittersweet feeling in my heart, finally ending this letter with a justice note.

No man deserves to be sack just because of one lousy season. No man. Period.


A United Fan.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Pandora Box

I store feelings inside boxes. Most of the time negative one's. Feelings that can wreck moods and turn tides.

That is why I call them Pandora boxes. Once open, it will consume me. Maybe turning me into a person that even I'm not familiar...

But most of the time though, these boxes get buried and forgotten along time. Which is good because life can be much happier without having to be calculative and bearing grudge.

Sometimes though, I pull out and open boxes that can't be forgotten. Boxes that are filled with feelings and memories of someone I care. Love. Miss.

One of these boxes, is grandpa. One month has passed since the day he drew his last breath. This past month had me with mixed feelings. From a hardcore atheist, I began to start believing in Heaven and Hell. Cause I want to believe that he has gone to somewhere nice.

There are nights where I have nightmares of loved ones leaving me, only to have me waking up from what was a terrible nightmare.

It has also got me thinking. I don't mind being single at the moment. But what about in a few years time? I used to be alright with being single for life. But the personality of mine would make me crazy. I want to have children. I want to have grandchildren. I want to have my family beside me when I draw my last breath...

Grandpa's departure changed me. It changed the perspective of life. As what my dad said, he was a simple man, but he was sent off in style.

What is life, when you don't have a family, someone you love, to share with?

p.s. and to you-know-who-you-are, you are also one of my Pandora Boxes. We may not chat often. But that doesn't mean that I don't care about you anymore..

Friday, April 11, 2014

Rage and Wrath

Funny today I've stumbled upon a weird feeling that pushes me to do something beyond the distance. Something stronger than determination and perseverance.

Rage and wrath.

Don't ask me why I got mad. It's personal. And unimportant.

But it really helped a lot in forcing myself to restart my weekly routine.

Looking back I noticed rage and wrath have always played a part in my life. Just that I wasn't really sensitive enough to notice what drives me sometimes. All these while I took it as a sign of determination. The feeling of wanting to prove someone wrong. It's a rage fueled determination.

I'm not a violent person who goes around kicking and hitting people up. But I'm still human. I do get mad. Don't take me for granted although I'm always smiling and laughing around.

But how I channel the rage, leveraging on that wrath and anger, sometimes really reap rewards and achievements.

But of course, I do have to pay the price.

Mentally I may be able to push myself to the limits. But physically I still will break like everyone else.

It's foolhardy to run 10km in one shot when my body could only take 3-5 these few days without over exerting myself.

But they say the start is the hardest. Hopefully this price is something worth paying.

By the way, why did I even have to get mad?