Funny today I've stumbled upon a weird feeling that pushes me to do something beyond the distance. Something stronger than determination and perseverance.
Rage and wrath.
Don't ask me why I got mad. It's personal. And unimportant.
But it really helped a lot in forcing myself to restart my weekly routine.
Looking back I noticed rage and wrath have always played a part in my life. Just that I wasn't really sensitive enough to notice what drives me sometimes. All these while I took it as a sign of determination. The feeling of wanting to prove someone wrong. It's a rage fueled determination.
I'm not a violent person who goes around kicking and hitting people up. But I'm still human. I do get mad. Don't take me for granted although I'm always smiling and laughing around.
But how I channel the rage, leveraging on that wrath and anger, sometimes really reap rewards and achievements.
But of course, I do have to pay the price.
Mentally I may be able to push myself to the limits. But physically I still will break like everyone else.
It's foolhardy to run 10km in one shot when my body could only take 3-5 these few days without over exerting myself.
But they say the start is the hardest. Hopefully this price is something worth paying.
By the way, why did I even have to get mad?