30th July 2014

Sometimes system and procedures really get into my way and mood.

I have been pro and anti system time to time. No doubt system brings order and prevents errors. But it is when a system becomes too rigid that it starts to irk me.

To make things worse, it is reusing this system over and over again that further deepens my anxiety. Dealing with different problems but using the same solution system. Over and over again. Like a loop.

Then again if it is simple, I don't have qualms. But problem is, this system is way too complicated and rigid. Going just one full round of it already got me breathless.

I do not think I can survive another round before I come to surrender...

Calculative

Sometimes we tend to be calculative.

I'm surprised that this post is initiated because of my calculativeness. Because normally, I'm not.

I start becoming calculative when people are calculative with me.


I know how its done by repaying a good deed with a good action. I do that all the time.


I don't always eat at home. Yet I still pay full without fail. If I were calculative, I make sure I don't pay a single cent more or less.


And when you come asking for small money when in the fact I have already done my part in showing my generosity in another way, it really pisses me off.

Final Fantasy

Sometimes, how I wish I can take on challenges and fights like piano pieces.

Having the guts and perseverance to practice till I get the hold of it.

Recently I got zapped back to time by Final Fantasy. The games itself are a class on its own. But what got me really really hooked are the OSTs.

Don't know whether it sounds cheesy or not, but FF really brings a lot positive energy, and emotion to me. And I believe it does to a hell lot of people out there.

Whether it is coincidentally or not, I am resuming back that good routine for almost a week already!

You know what's better than Final Fantasy? It's hoping when you look back at your life at the end, it will be something as worthy as a Final Fantasy story.

Excuses

Sometimes we come up with all kinds reasons and excuses to make ourselves feel better...

I haven't really been able to adhere back to the schedule I set myself during the beginning of the year.

I've been trying to but it seems that I'm miles apart from that disciplined schedule which made my life felt more meaningful.

Busy hectic yet happy.

Then we slack. We cut off one activity one by one. Until at the end, we end up lifeless.

Where did the enthusiasm to learn more, read more, exercise more went to?

Hmm.. It's already July. I've made progress but with the current pace I'm moving I don't think it is possible to hit the goals I've set upon myself.

I need to stop making excuse when I'm about to start not following that schedule.

Dang. Buck up!