Chapter 26: Independence

Life is a story. And we ourselves are the author of our story. How great we are going to turn out to be, lies all in our hands. 

That being said though, some chapters in life are more or less fixed. Like being born where about in this world. Our race. Family. Financial situation. And then the almost 10 years of compulsory education where the majority of us undergo.

But that's just the framework or so called parts of life that everyone goes through. But what one does or how one does remains variable. Examples one of us can only write of being a top student back then. Or being the rascal or troublemaker that earned plenty of spankings.  

And then comes the chapter of getting into Universities. Life gets so much twists and turns in this chapter. What courses one takes somehow ultimately shapes one's future specifically and differently from the others. 

Here I am. 2 years with Nestle. And 2 years living away from home. But I still remember clearly, staring to the skies as I cleaned the plates and cutlery at the back of a cafe I worked for 3 months back then. It was a tough period. I was struggling to find a decent job. I questioned myself. What are you doing in a cafe when your friends are working in KL or Penang. I was lost in writing my next chapter of life. 

Of course there was also complacency that reassured me that life will work out sooner or later. And I don't really need to worry of anything as I was still living with my parents in my hometown. But there was an inner voice, calling out for a new challenge and a new chapter of life.  

That decision and opportunity to come to a PJ, considered a wish come true after being sick of dependent and complacent. Currently, life is great. I earn enough to feed myself and rent a room from my relatives. My life is pretty much hassle free apart from my job.

But 2 years of a chapter I'm currently in is enough. It is not wrong to continue writing the same chapter. But life is short. Sooner or later one has to go through the stage of being independent. Living alone. Getting married and raising a family. Comparing myself to my other friends, some have already lived alone and some have already married. I'm considered slow in my story of life.

So here I am, with that anxiety we all have when we are faced with a new challenge, here's to a next chapter of life.

And many more to come...

#2centsworth On #LatelyInMalaysia

1. Farah Ann Abdul Hadi is a talented sportswoman who has brought fame and glory to Malaysia in the SEA games. Islamists hardcores who are upset with gymnastic attires & KK mountain nudists should learn from each other to re-calibrate themselves to social norms.

2. Nazri is being a douche bag for infuriating the Rakyat by being so "vocal" with nonsense in giving support to the current PM. Until he came out with the statement against the Johore Crown Prince:"At least I was elected". So are you questioning the monarch's position???

Advices

Define the best advice or guidance.

Is it the best alternative? Is it something we want to hear?

Neither. Most of the time it depends on a case to case scenario.

Most of the time, we don't really care much or ask for genuine opinions. Because most of the time, we ask to hear ASSURANCE.

Don't get it? Try this...

"Hey look that dress looks nice right. Do you think it would look nice on me?"

Obviously if the dress is not nice, it would not have attracted you. You wouldn't even have thought of trying it on. But you are asking for an OPINION with the intention of ASSURANCE from someone that you are indeed correct.

We also ask for advises to get EMPATHY

"Sigh this is too difficult for me. I have no idea on how to progress even though I have spent 7 hours on this. I'm really hopeless aren't I?"

You could be genuine in feeling down. But if there is someone beside you, deep down there you would want a touch of empathy from the company you have during a difficult situation. People yearn for praises and attention. Too much of course is no good but a good dose of empathy during such situations are great encouragement.

Just by 2 simple examples I bet deep down there's a paradigm shift of why people ask for opinions and advises. Are we really that snobbish to ask for sincere guidance and opinions?

Still there are situations where real advises and guidance are being requested. Fret not. But just a small fraction of it.

Another simple example? Rarely does someone ask for advises from parents during their teenage years or late teens.

We never doubted our parents point of views. Most of the time they are right (yeap that took quite a while to realize). But why not ask for advice?

Why not ask them whether smoking is something to do or not? Why not ask for comfort or solace when you first breakup? Or when you have difficulties back then?

Because we know, what is right or wrong already. We know what a grown up would say to a seemingly small problem but a big one to us since its the first time we are encountering it.

Because we know, we don't need to be told what to do. What we wanted was ASSURANCE or EMPATHY. Or even both. And parents being parents will just give you LOGIC, which is often harsh truth that we are not willing to accept fully and whole heartedly at that moment of time.

*no disrespect to parents who live their children. But sometimes to let your child learn to walk, you gotta let them fall and let them learn to pick themselves up.