The more you love, the more you lie?

I had this one small dream or promise that I had secretly made. If I were to really find a girl I really love, and she's the one, I would never ever lie to her. Why? Because the basic building block of a relationship is TRUST. How can one expect their partners to trust them, if they aren't telling the truth?

Or so it seems. But in the reality, does it works that way? Do we actually lie more when we love someone? I don't know about boy girl relationship, neither about husband and wife. The only love I've got so far is family love.

Personally I don't really like telling lies at all. Actually I hate it a lot. But the truth is I can be a very good liar. I have lied and made a lot of "drama" (for good causes la! HAHA!). I still remember this one time during matriculation, where students are not allowed to leave the campus on weekdays. But on one specific school day it was a friend's birthday. And what is a birthday without a birthday cake right? So I went to the office and told the clerk I wanted to go out and get a medical check-up. But due to a sudden change of regulations, we have to get permission from our "felo"(teacher-in-charge, more like the discipline master type). Oh oh! Me and my bunch of friends were shocked about the new ruling, since we never did need permission before for seeing doctor. And naturally, I began to act sick, cough like mad (but not fake). The clerk was shocked, and she straight away called the "felo" and asked permission for me. And that was the starting of how amazed I am with my "lying" and "acting".

But be rest assure I'm no drama king (I hope so in your eyes!). Back to lying. Again I'm here to mention, that I come from a rather stricter family. I have more rules compared to most families. My parents scared the shit out of me when they're mad, and although I'm taller and bigger than my parents, I'm still afraid of them, till this day. So there might be times that my friends maybe too outgoing, I sometimes have to limit myself to cancel off some yumcha sessions because I know I'm gonna get nag for going out quite often. I used to quarrel with my parents on how strict they are with me, while other parents gave their children so much freedom compared to me. I even cried about it when scolded. But nowadays, rather than ask their permission over and over again and maybe get nag for going out like everyday, I limit myself automatically by not going out that often, most of the time by giving stupid reasons to my friends. Well, they're my parents. They might not make me happy, but they sure won't make me someone bad. If it makes them happy for me to spend more time at home, well at least that's the most I can do, given that I seldom speak to them at home (I don't know why though).

Although it  may not look like it, I value my family more than my friends. Not to say I would kill my friends off for the sake of my family, but I would sacrifice the good times that I may have with my friends for my family, even when their demands can be very unreasonable. I had a planned meet-up session with my friends in Ipoh quite some time ago. But the planned session was kinda early, and I was vacationing with my family. Although I voiced out my desire to meet up with them as early as possible, but things went complicated and I was late. I sacrificed meeting them early knowing that to have things my way would have sound selfish. And I lie to my parents sometime to not let them worry or hassle them.

I don't really show my love and affection to my family directly or openly. Even when I'm away, like studying in Penang, I don't really think of them very often. But worse come to worse, if (IF) some tragedy besieged one of my family members, you wouldn't know how worried and crazy I will be.

Until now, I have lied to the one's I love. Is it possible to not lie and be truthful to that special girl that may come in my life? In the end, is lying a way to convey love too?

Your thoughts?

It's Not About The Money

Like it or not, when study life comes to an end, everyone of us starts to work. Well it doesn't matter how early one chooses to end his or her study life. The thing is, sooner or later, we all have to start working.

The point or the question is, why work? The first and foremost, and I think it should be the sole reason, would be to earn money, which will be used for accommodation, food, and then to live on. But the thing that I see, those who are working now, it is an unstoppable and ongoing process. Most of us start working by mid 20s. And when does it end? Prolly 50 years old. That's like 25 years! The duration I've spent growing up, drinking milk, playing around, learning how to write, count, ABC, primary school and so so bla bla until the day today! In other words, if I were to lived up to 100 years old, I would have spent the best years of my time studying and working so that the worse years of my life (old and maybe weak with diseases) is secured.

I always believe that we have only one life and one chance to be on this planet. How good or how bad it turns out is up to us. The thing is, maybe I don't want to spend my life building a small treasure trove or gold mountain in my bank so that I can live happily when I retire. I rather spend every minute of my life, till the moment I die and pass out, doing what I love, and although it may not build me a fortune.

It's not like I don't need money. Nor I hate it a lot. It's just like I find it very pity to spend most of our life earning to live on. Well it's a process that I will also have to undergo. But of course if money would dropped down from the sky (or maybe just food la to keep me alive), many of us won't be working like mad right?

But of course, being able to do what one loves and earning money is of course the best thing in life. So far I haven't really thought of that ideal job of mine. Well maybe I have, but it seems elusive and well out of the league for me.

Being born in a comparably more well-to-do family maybe made me realize that money isn't anything. Sure I get what I want most of the time, but that doesn't mean I want a lot of materialistic things. My handphone is still the one with B-U-T-T-O-N-S, mind you, and I intend to use it until it is un-usable. My lappie is working fine since freshman year till now. No thoughts of even selling it second-hand and get a new one. I now only buy clothes for new year (even this I think my mum does all the buying. With just me I think I won't be having new clothes XD).

I've never led a hard life. So that's why money is not that vital to me. Of course giving me a high pay job that may be taxing, but at least ethical and not morally-wrong would be good enough for me. But as soon as I get enough, I may just re-sign and go do what I want. Living a life that I want to be.

But this is life. This is Malaysia. We study like siao. Then we work like siao. Then we earn money like siao. Then we have family and children. We earn more and then really become siao. Their turn to take over our roles to study and work like siao.

How I wish other than academic and normal work, there are other ways to work and earn money to let me lead a comfortable life. Why can't Malaysia have a basketball league as good as NBA, or a football league as good as the BPL, where sports can even make one's life too good to be true? Why can't the entertainment industry be as good as Hollywood, or at least have good prospects like Japan or Korea?

I don't know. We just work and work and work. And this work we work on day and night, it's not our ideal job nor what we would dreamed of - the reality when we were still small kids. And to work because of money...

My dream since kid was to be a doctor. Not because of the money, but because I like helping people. Saving them. Putting a smile on their face. I never knew being a doctor earned well. I just knew I would be happy doing it. Some people like to draw. Some people like music. But in a society and country like Malaysia, having such a dream will only be put out by our parents. And we end up like most of them. Working for the sake to live on... Although we never did love what we do... And never did continue to do what we love, as a living.

One word I can describe. Pathetic...

出国

真的很羡慕那些出过国的朋友。更羡慕那些有逗留在外国一阵子的朋友。

为什么？或许我是个喜欢多样化的人吧。也习惯了一个人的生活。能够到外国去不但能够体验不一样的生活，还能够学习如何一个人面对困难和挫折。

或许是厌倦了吧。对着一个四季皆夏天的日子。不知道雪是怎样的。不知道秋天的落叶有多迷人。整天不是给太阳晒就是给雨淋。

也不是说对这里的人对到不想再面对。只是... 真的很想趁年轻时去闯一闯。我不想等到退休了才来环游世界。那时对我来讲真的太迟了。特别想在三十岁之前就能到外国去。因为在三十岁之前，还能够疯疯癫癫面对一切...

或许最主要的原因是，我不想要个平凡的人生吧。我不想一做起工来，要做到退休为此才来出国环游世界，做自己想做的事。钱财对我来说，不是一切。只要有一天没有结婚立家的念头，不需要赚钱养家，能够到外地去体验不一样的生活... 啊~! 好想好想...



或许，逗留在另一个地方能够让我反省和成长吧...

Battleship

Long time since I last did a movie review. Finally a movie spurred me back into doing one. It's none other than Battleship!

To be honest, the first time I saw the trailer, I labelled it as a no go. I labelled it as a Transformer rip-off. However, the second trailer made me changed my mind and there I was, watching it the first day it hit cinemas.

Forget about thinking of it as a rip-off from Transformers. It makes Transformer a distant memory, judging that The Dark Of The Moon wasn't really up to standards for me. I'd say absolute plot and storyline, maybe a bit negative where the transition period between where he was unemployed, nabbed and then suddenly a naval officer with tidily cropped hair.

Graphics and firepower are at their best. Again the only fake part of the graphics or lousy parts are the scene when the aliens attacked the city "Sonic the Hedgehog" style, destroying the overhead bridges and causing traffic mayhem. Other than that, I'd definitely say best movie so far.

How would it rank up against The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises? Well I have faith in Christopher Nolan for not screwing up DK3, so it should kick Avengers off my top 3 list for best movie of the year.

And who would have thought the movie was inspired by this game...